God's Sovereignty, My Anger, and His Grace

Trusting in the Sovereignty of God

Tonight at church we sang two songs about the sovereignty of God. During rehearsal I felt that all too familiar gut wrenching tug of conviction.

I believe the words of these songs with everything in me. I know God is sovereign. I trust Him. All my faith and confidence is in Him. At least that's what I say.

And yet...less than two weeks ago we got a phone call with scary news about someone we love dearly. My first reaction? I was angry. I was mad at God. I had words with Him that night. I am ashamed of my reaction, and tonight while singing I was wracked with guilt. All these thoughts and emotions were racing through me. How could I be up on stage singing these words when I wasn't living them?

It's like when we sing the song "You are My King (Amazing Love)".  I love the lyrics to most of that song, but I get hung up on the words, "In all I do, I honor You." I feel like I'm singing a lie when those words come out. I want to honor Him. I strive to honor Him. But I can't honestly sing that in all I do I honor Him.

Wouldn't you know the sermon tonight was on the grace of God? The whole series has been "Jesus is Enough", and tonight God showed me yet again, that He is enough. 

Romans 5:1 - Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

The word peace stood out to me. I have peace with God. I don't need to live in guilt or stand on the stage feeling hypocritical. Yes I was wrong to be angry at God, as if I have any right to question Him. But I confessed. I am reconciled with God. Our pastor worded it like this, "He doesn't see the stains on your shirt. He sees you as clean."

His Amazing Grace

God in His goodness and in His sovereignty met me right where I'm at, right where I needed Him tonight. I could sing with confidence the words, 

"In your never failing love
You work everything for good
God whatever comes my way
I will trust you."

He is sovereign, and I can rest in the peace I have in Him.

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